A friend asked me yesterday how it was possible to have seen through such a hard upbringing and not feel constant rage, depression, and bitterness. Only after he later commented about unconditional love did I fully realize the answer to his question, and along with it came the realization of what an incredible human being I have as a mother.

Life was not easy growing up. My father was constantly moving from country to country to try and make a living, leaving my mother, baby sister, and I in foreign places alone and fending for ourselves for long periods of time. I remember how despite adversity, Mom always found a way to feed and cloth us, and this was often not a very easy task. I can recal vividly how we travelled by bus across America with all of our belongings crammed into four large suitcases. It was just us - 3 woman alone on the road. We often were forced into dire experiences, yet Mom always tried to turn these bleak times into fun.

When I got assalted by a family member at the age of 12, Mom's voice was heard load and clear. She stood up for me and brought me home to safety, even when it came at the expense of losing my father and alienating my extended family.

Times were really hard for me growing up, and for much of my childhood I wanted to simply die. I can recal as a young frightened girl of just 13 years old, the love I felt when Mom stood by my bedside as I lay there dying after consuming rat poison and all the pills I could find. And again my Mom's incredible love was there for me a year later as my stomach was being pumped following another suicide attempt, that left me hospitalized in a psychiatric ward for a week.

When I did not want to die, I wanted to flee, and often I ran away from home. Once I hitchhiked several hundreds of miles, the destination irelevant, all in an effort to flee from the demons that plagued me from within. While many parents may have been filled with anger, Mom was there, always waiting for me with open arms and no judgement. Even when I left her, screamed in frustration, or brought her pain, she would always say, "I'm here for whatever you need." And she really meant it.

It seemed like just when things got to be so bad that they were unbearable, they got even worse, and we frequently found ourselves uprooted and traveling the world in an effort to leave behind the trauma and rebuild our lives. From Canada to Equador, Australia, and Uragua, Mom could never gain stability or make the home that she always dreamed of having for us.

I can still feel Mom's arms around me, when she begged me to consider keeping the child I was carrying in my womb. I was only fifteen, and to me, the world had come to an end. With barely a dollar in our pockets, she took me with my swollen belly across countries to again try to rebuild our lives and offer a sanctuary of safety for the child she wanted so desperately for me to bring into this world. I'll never forget how Mom held my hand as my child took her first breath. In the most loving words that are ingrained forever in my memory, she said, "You go and build your life and I will look after your child until you are ready to care for her." These unconditional words of pure love still bring streams of tears to my eyes.

Just as she stood by my bed and uttered words of love and encouragement, she stood by my dying father as AIDS coursed through the blood of his decaying body. The origin of her tremendous stregth can't possibly be explained; perhaps it was from the earth, the heavens, or simply from her soul which was full of love for the man she married and eventually lost.

My Mother has been ill for many years and horrific arthritis has stricken nearly every bone in her body. There are days when she is in complete and utter agony, and more than one doctor has commented on how a woman in her condition should be long dead, or at minimal, confined to a bed. Despite her excrutiating pain, she has been known to crawl on her hands and knees to greet me or my sister by the door. It is this inner strength and ever-present hope that has helped me through my most difficult of times. To this very day she tells me to follow my dreams and that nothing can stop me. "The world is your oyster," she recently told me, and these words, as so many other in the past, charge me with a drive to move on and succeed.

Today, I have a beautiful 11 year old daughter that is nothing short of the light of my life. A wonderful loving sister in University is going to be a doctor, and me, I'm an actress, finally coming to realize the earliest dreams of my childhood. While I work on movies, I know that in truth, Mom is really the star; for without her unconditional love and support, and her insistance that I follow my dreams despite adversity, I would not be here to write this story.

I love you Mom
more than you'll ever know.