I do not remember her name but I cannot forget her smile.

I was a pharmacy student, enrolled in the graduate program at the Philadelphia College of Pharmacy. In my final year as a student, I was required to fulfill five week-long rotations through different specialties in order to gain exposure to a variety of pharmacy settings. The oncology rotation was one of my last rotations before graduating and I can recall vividly the feeling of freedom only a few short weeks away. After years of exams, studying, and the overall stress of school, my only care was completing the rotations as quickly as possible; yet, to my surprise, a different kind of education was awaiting me, a special education not taught in books, lectures, or seminars.

The day I met her, I was responsible for assessing patients' blood pressure, weight, and heart rate prior to them receiving chemotherapy. I remember thinking that this would be any easy day for me since I've done all of these things countless times in the past. Then, in walked the smile carried by a graying and slightly overweight woman. This woman immediately captivated my attention as she greeted everyone with a charm that lit up the room. I took her blood pressure and heart rate and all the while she chatted with me in a friendly and upbeat manner.

And then it happened - the nurse who was guiding me through what needed to be done next, instructed me to take a sample of blood. Time stopped. I looked at the nurse incredulously and thought to myself, "You've got to be kidding, me take blood?!"

I admit, I have always been squeamish around blood. The thought of sticking a needle into someone and watching blood move through a tube quite frankly filled me with terror. I attempted to maintain my composure and explained to the supervising nurse that I had never done this before. The graying chemotherapy patient looked at me with a huge smile and much to my surprise, proceeded to convince me not to worry, assuring me that she would be happy to be my "guinea pig" from which to learn this procedure.

This woman simply amazed me! Here sitting before me was a women who had undergone so many blood draws and chemotherapy sessions that her veins either collapsed or hardened, and yet, she was offering herself up to a novice who would in all likelihood inflict more pain on her. But, she continued to coax me on, and I sheepishly made my first attempt to stick the needle in her vein. I missed. The elderly woman just smiled and encouraged me to try again. This second time the needle went in but not far enough, causing blood to squirt out. And so again and again I tired with mounting hesitation for what seemed like an eternity. After several tries, increasing perspiration, and a frightened look on my face, I expressed my frustration at my failure and a desire to give up. The chemotherapy patient however refused to take failure from me and encouraged me to make one final attempt. I hesitantly agreed. I took in her smiles and words of encouragement and made one last attempt. To my amazement, the needle slipped into her vein and with the delight of a child, I watched as the blood flowed majestically through the small tube.

The "victory" while small, was so sweet that I have savored it ever since. To me, this experience was so much more than overcoming my fear of blood; it represented a step towards overcoming my long-held fear of failure. And from whom was this accomplishment inspired? From a women dying of cancer, whose chemotherapy was failing her. In spite of her condition she found the strength to inspire others.

I learned the power of a smile and the importance of spreading it to others from this gentle old woman with no veins. I also learned from her that the spirit is larger than the body.

I often recall this courageous woman who could smile even in the face of death. I think of her as I embark on new challenges. I see her smile and hear her words of encouragement and this gives me the strength to take on the challenge. I do not know what happened to this woman but I do know that she left a mark of soul graffiti on me simply through her smile and kind words. With this story, I send her my thanks.