I awoke from a dream, surprised when a good-looking, dark haired doctor commented, “Put your caring back in your form and it will come alive again.” I knew exactly which form he was talking about and needed to do some soul-searching. I’ve been in a vibrant changing relationship for the last 40 years, and at last I had begun to lose interest in my first adolescent love. I had been looking at whether or not I should just walk away from it, or hold on as my relationship shifted again. You see, the passionate relationship I am speaking about is my love of the martial arts. For 40 years, 23 of them in tai chi, I have engaged in an intimate relationship that has changed me, stretched me and challenged me to look at myself.

This all reminds me of the day I almost ran someone over in the parking lot of the Radisson Hotel in Culver City, California. A friend from Denver was presenting a story-telling workshop and I decided at the last minute to attend in order to support him. Entering the parking lot, I gave the right of way to a man slowly leaving his cab and walking toward the hotel entrance. I began to pull forward and without warning, he turned abruptly and walked in front of my red minivan. I stepped on the brakes and felt myself flooded with gratitude that I hadn’t flattened him! He paused briefly in silent acknowledgment of his spared life and retrieved something from the back seat of the cab. Five minutes later I walked into the workshop room and the open seat was precisely behind that same man I nearly crushed! Later, as instructed by our facilitator, we introduced ourselves. I stuck out my hand and said, “Hi, I’m Lin Morel, the lady that almost ran you over!”

That chance encounter changed our lives.

During the course of our conversation that evening, I found out the gentleman was an oncology chaplain at UCLA. He also was involved with complementary medicine, came from Saco, Maine, and lived around the corner from me! Coincidently, I’m a non-denominational minister, have a private practice that uses spiritual principles to help people transform, and spent many a summer in Maine with my extended family. Having learned all this about my near potential victim, I spontaneously asked him if he wanted a ride home. He said yes, and fate took its course.

As I pulled up to his apartment, I was moved to ask him if he would like a prayer of blessing for his work. My impromptu words left him in tears. Feeling as though I had struck him with lightening twice in one night, I parted company by offering him a business card. I told him that it was nice to have him as a neighbor and suggested we meet for tea. I figured I’d never hear from him again, but I did.

As we became friends, I asked him why my prayer, “You are much beloved of the Lord and your deepest heart’s longing will come true,” moved him to tears. He said, “It will never happen.” “What is it that will never happen?” I asked. With a sigh, he said sadly, “Be married.”

In my characteristic New Jersey vernacular, I said, “So, what’s not to be married about?” He replied, “Look at me, who would marry a man that looks like me?” I shot back, “You’re not so bad looking, you’re just a short dude…” Then he commented, “Look at these elbows," presenting them for examination. As I reached out to touch them, I asked, “Do they work?” “Yes, they are just knobby…” My heart opened in away I can’t explain. This was one of the most wonderful human beings I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. That his life was different because of a lifelong disability caused by a malfunctioning gene was a given. That he would not find someone who appreciated his gifts and extraordinary bearing amazed me.

Little did I know that I was both the messenger and the message in that early prayer. After being a widow for almost a decade, I discovered a blessing born of my caring. The man I almost ran over has now been my husband for almost five years! While short in stature, he is a spiritual giant who brings genuine caring, compassion and loving to the world of cancer patients every day.

So, what does quantum caring have to do with this story? As I looked back on the statement, “Put the caring in your form, and it will come alive again,” I found that it referred to much more than a tai chi form. In my perspective, when we put caring in all aspects of our life it comes alive and reflects the authentic caring spirit of who we truly are. It was caring that brought me to support my colleague, offer a ride and prayer to a stranger. In return, I received a blessing of caring. As we became friends, there was absolute honesty in our sharing about his disability, life expectancy and challenges. Each time he cared enough to risk losing the relationship by sharing his innermost truth, our relationship deepened.

Both the dream and my encounter are examples of how quantum physics and, in this case caring, change our reality. The study of quantum physics began when it was found that the electron could be both a particle and a wave. This concept of duality became a foundation of the study of quantum physics. Another principle, simply stated, is that observing something changes the outcome. In effect, our attitudes, beliefs and expectations determine what we then see. Taken one step further, the interaction between our consciousness and the thing we are observing causes things to unfold the way they do. This is a simple explanation of a complex field that now explains scientifically how our thoughts, etc. contribute to what we experience. Hard science is now confirming what mystics have long known.

To care is defined by the New International Webster’s Family Dictionary as “to have or show regard, interest or concern.” What would your life be like if you made a choice to put conscious caring in everything you do? It is easy to care for things we are passionate about. And yet, as things or people become familiar and take on a life of their own, we tend to put our caring on auto-drive. Things change all the time, and when we take our attention off caring, frequently the relationship suffers. Put the caring back in your form (whatever container is important to you) and you will come alive again!

Like everything else, relationships change. We must pay attention to them on a regular basis before a crisis of neglect develops. Communing with caring leads to fulfilling relationships. Quantum caring might be likened to a leap of faith in every moment, where we declare and practice kindness and caring in all our words and actions. We need to speak the truth, be responsible for our own feelings, and allow the other person the dignity of their own response.

I challenge you to put caring in those areas of life that will stretch you, challenge you and transform you. Tap into the power of quantum caring and watch life come alive with new possibilities.

Lin Morel, MA, DSS, has helped people move beyond words to the place where authenticity, power and peace reside for more than 30 years. Her mission is to assist people in discovering their own personal path and ultimate union with the wisdom within that nurtures, sustains and nourishes our life. She is a spiritual director, teacher and author who has lectured and taught on three continents. For further information contact Lin at www.linmorel.com