I was just another woman who had given up on love. And to validate this way of being I mixed with friends and associates, who were the same. We would convince ourselves that we were not at fault by remarking, “It’s hard enough to find a man you want to have dinner with, let alone someone you want to be with, for a life-time.” I can hear myself explaining earnestly, “I’m happy on my own. I can do as I please, and the last thing I need is a man telling me what to do, or how to behave.” The interesting thing was that for people who didn’t want men in our lives, we spent a lot of time debating the pros and cons of relationships. In the final analysis however, we concluded that men were a different species. They were ego driven and inflexible. And those who were unattached and therefore available were emotional retards!

I had been living alone for twelve years and was sure I would never share my life with anyone again. I was past it and besides, I had yet to meet a man who would appreciate my special gifts. How could I be with anyone who didn’t trust my spiritual connection? It would be hell on earth to have to pretend about that! Then one day the thought occurred to me: “A man has been assigned to me. He is one of my kind!” I must admit that in spite of my cynicism, my heart leaped and a big grin spread over my face. You see, in my more honest moments this was really what I longed for, and the empty chatter about wanting to be alone, was a façade. It helped me deal with the fact that my deep need for love would probably never be satisfied.

Two months later we were both at the same social gathering. Suddenly our eyes locked and we each recognized the other. Not the body! It was the soul, the essence, which was so familiar. We knew and loved each other in the instant, and sensed we had always known and loved each other, in some extraordinary way. We felt as if we were two parts of a puzzle coming together again at last, and in that moment we each knew we had reconnected with our twin.

He was a man who had lived without love for twelve years. He liked being with woman, but at a deep level knew he would never find the kind of love he dreamed about. He dreamed of loving another in such a way that he, and she, would want no other. He was tired of the games, the deception and the need to have so many people to fill his space. He yearned to share his innermost thoughts and feelings without fear of ridicule. He longed to hold, and be held, and silently connect without the need for words. And he craved a bond that would awaken parts of him that had been dormant for a long time.

We are two people who have barely been separated for the past twenty two months. We experience the joy of oneness as our hearts beat in time with each other, and we walk our path together. Sometimes a hand reaches to help me over a hurdle, and at other times I extend a hand to help my love, as he stumbles. We lovingly work together to release our fears, knowing they were designed to keep us small, and boldly accept the discomfort as old thought patterns and behaviors surface, to be freed. We see how these outmoded ways of being previously turned love into a battlefield, and marvel at how each time we let one go, our hearts open more fully and our love moves to new, inconceivable levels.

We are grateful for the memory of the way we were before, because it helps us see what great survivors human beings can be. We have learned that love is the only real thing, it is all we have. It is the only thing that is eternal, and our willingness to love is the ultimate test of our immortality.

We now have deep compassion for humanity when we hear another say, “I’m happy on my own. I can do as I please and the last thing I need is….”

Christine Bannigan

Christine Bannigan, MBA, B.Ed is an accredited NLP Practitioner, MBTI and DISC Facilitator and author of “Contract to Live. She currently resides in Australia with her husband Phillip.