Frederic Luskin, Ph.D. is the Director of the Stanford Forgiveness Projects, the Stanford Northern Ireland HOPE Projects and the author of the best selling book Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness (Harper SF, 2002). He has completed 7 successful research studies on his forgiveness methodology. Dr. Luskin holds a Ph.D. in Counseling and Health Psychology from Stanford University and is an Associate Professor at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology.

More information about his research can be found at www.learningtoforgive.com

SG = Soul Graffiti
FL = Frederic Luskin

SG: WHAT IS THE STANFORD FORGIVENESS PROJECT?

FL: The Stanford Forgiveness Project is a series of experiments that have substantiated a forgiveness training methodology I developed. We have worked with college students, middle aged adults, people from both sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland who have had family members murdered, financial service advisors after the stock market crash of 2000, pre menopausal high stress women, people with high blood pressure and in each case forgiveness led to improvements in physical and psychological well being. You can find study abstracts at www.learningtoforgive.com

SG: HOW DID LEARNING ABOUT FORGIVENESS AFFECT YOUR OWN LIFE?

FL: I developed this process in response to a personal hurt. A close friend abandoned me and I suffered for years. The project began as personal reclamation and moved from there to research. Forgiveness is an everyday experience, as the world is not constructed to put my wishes front and center.

SG: WHY IS FORGIVENESS SO IMPORTANT AND WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR SO MANY OF US?

FL: Forgiveness is one of the necessary responses to life as it is. All lives involve suffering and all people know hurt and betrayal. Without forgiveness we stay stuck in the past and are not able to deal with current situations without prejudice. It is hard because people lack emotional self control, they are too self absorbed and fail to see the suffering everywhere, they have not been taught how to forgive, or they think that negativity, anger and complaining will get them what they want.

SG: HOW DO WE FORGIVE?

FL: How to forgive is covered fully in my book Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness (Harper San Francisco, 2002). The outline is contained in the 9 steps of forgiveness that comes as an attachment.

SG: DOES FORGIVENESS REALLY EFFECT OUR HEALTH?

FL: If you consider non-forgiveness as a form of stress it is easy to see how forgiveness improves health. Every time we complain about the past or become bitter over a hurt, or think the world should be different than it is we stress our bodies. This impacts our cardiovascular, nervous and immune systems both short and long term. We have a choice as to how much stress we subject ourselves to. On the positive side positive emotions such as forgiveness offer salutary experiences to the body in the opposite way that stress impacts the body. That is happiness, hope, forgiveness send a message of safety to the body which improves such markers as blood pressure and immune function and provides a buffer against the effects of stress.

SG: DO YOU THINK THAT THERE IS A CONNECTION BETWEEN FORGIVENESS AND KINDNESS?

FL: Forgiveness is an implementation of kindness. Each of us will travel a rocky road in this life and can respond to life events with a range of responses from kindness (forgiveness) to bitterness and revenge. After an interpersonal hurt and after the necessary period of grieving then we each bring to our world some degree of kindness or unkindness depending on our level of forgiveness. If we do not forgive we become hostile and bitter and that leads us to permit ourselves to be less kind. With forgiveness we are more likely to see the benign in people's motivation and in turn that allows us to offer more kindness to a world that is bound to hurt us all. In addition kindness emerges from forgiveness when we are more likely to try to help other people who we see suffering as we did.